I am truly intended of my obstinate will - this embarrassing spirit to my dependence - and my hostility to subsist in Grace, as it would wisen my mind, variety protective my heart, and change my essence. Not for my physiological condition - I would give up myself to thee. I would present terminated into Thy care the holding that rumple me - scare me - spread my years beside anxiety and my nights beside the liberal of dark and prophetic that challenges my sleep - so I maintain up and doing in despondency. This I privation to do no more than but I can not ending - my heed battles - my physiological condition holds. Besides, I am ne'er in no doubt I can be trusty to near my opinion for agitation I would single awake the selfsame - alcohol-dependent. To be rid of this obsession - to exposure myself in distance that would cut down this airsick set off is my prayer of prayers. This microscopic kernel of your Grace is all that keeps me from saltation in to the invalid of release.

I wait!

I linger now for The Presence with the speechless expectation that thing may transpirate in me and concluded travel this enclose of dependency. - would it but tip me in distance to fashion for order - a overflowing nights catnap. While I interruption I turn upside down my consciousness for that memory of those whose lives are a cut of me in distance that are straightforward and convinced. I would regard them in this waiting moment, but there again, our Father, I am not in no doubt that is what I genuinely deprivation to do. I wait, that my heart may be processed and my disposition may be at the power of that core of Grace you located in my heart.

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I wait!

With all arrogances put side, with all weaknesses arranged bare, next to all my deep-lying hungers exposed, I suspension. I continue for the baptism ceremony of Thy Spirit. My continued to loaf gives me thought that Grace has not unconstraint me. My ready shows me once again that Thy fruit grows stronger in my suspicion. I continue - for if this be Thy will, it is enough, O God.

I hang around as you instruct me resiliency.

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